Let me let you in on where my thoughts have been taking me and where the Lord has been leading me in response. Over the holidays, my family made a huge leap of faith as we left the safety and provision of the ministry we had been called to just nine years earlier. We packed our things, which wasn't much, and drove our moving truck halfway across the country to follow where we believe the Lord to be leading us next. It is something that I always thought would be exhilarating-a cross country move with no real hard plans in place. An opportunity to dream. To hope. To visualize an overwhelming amount of possibilities for the future. Instead this big move filled me with fear and caused me to question, "is this really the Lord leading? Have I made a terrible mistake that I'll soon live to regret?" I've learned over the years that only time and faithful living can answer these questions. And so we pressed on in faith and hard won trust in our Heavenly Father.
Instead this big move filled me with fear and caused me to question, "is this really the Lord leading? Have I made a terrible mistake that I'll soon live to regret?" I've learned over the years that only time and faithful living can answer these questions.
Allow me to paint a better picture of just how difficult the idea of trusting God in this time has been: when we left our ministry we left behind our housing, vehicles, income to provide for our family and all the benefits that come with it. We said goodbye to a church full of people who had loved us and our son so well. We were looking ahead to essentially starting over from scratch. And though it would be in a city we had lived in before, we knew after being away for over eleven years that it had changed exponentially and we were coming in blind and naive to its differences.
That being said we didn't have nothing to look forward to. After all, the eighteen months of wrestling and prayer we had done was initiated by God imprinting on our hearts the desire to be near family and friends- especially as we raise our son (more to come on how parenting has caused a deeper reliance on the Spirit...). But in order take hold of this inspired vision, we had to let go of what came before: a surrendered life to an itinerant pastorate that would continue to see us relocate every three to five years. It was a ministry we were called to. A ministry we loved. A ministry that helped continue to shape us into the leaders God was calling us to be. But it was a ministry we needed to let go of to receive what was coming next.
When we arrived at our destination we stepped right into the community our spirits were longing for: extended family who are sharing the love of God through the gift of hospitality (we live with them!) and lifelong friends with children of their own who have welcomed our energetic five-year-old into their hearts with so much love and understanding. To say that we are blessed is an understatement. But that blessing was hard earned. It required a daily (sometimes hour by hour) surrender to the leading of the Holy Spirit. It called for the sacrifice of a good and holy ministry, and dying to the expectations and hopes that our colleagues and esteemed leaders held for us and the future of the church. The future costs us the release of our past.
The future costs us the release of our past.
God has supplied our every need. Housing. Cars. Income. Childcare. Church community. And yet, the enemy continues to wage war in my mind, tempting me to doubt this provision and inviting me to question my purpose and place in the body of Christ.
Even now as I write this I am battling against the lies I believe that the enemy has long whispered into the ear of the God's beloved. The twisted idea that ministry is only for those who have a title or are employed by the church. When we continue to perpetuate this mistruth, whether overtly or covertly, we risk silencing and stifling the gifts of the priesthood of believers. We hinder the hearts of those who believe the Lord is calling them to step out and offer their stories and strengths as a means of building up the community of faith.
Though I am no longer on staff at a church, nor do I have the regular opportunity to preach and teach, I am moving forward continuing to trust that the Lord will open doors for me to use my gifts to pour into the lives of his followers. He already has! And I would like to commit my platform and influence to remind everyone of you that you are a priest in this kingdom of believers (1 Peter 2:4-5). You have gifts to share. You have a voice to proclaim. You have a holy discontent to wrestle with to launch you forward into works that bring about the peace and justice that echoes the realities of heaven. We need you.
You have gifts to share. You have a voice to proclaim. You have a holy discontent to wrestle with to launch you forward into works that bring about the peace and justice that echoes the realities of heaven.
If you're in transition I want to encourage you to keep trusting. Keep praying. Keep wrestling. Keep moving forward in faith. If the Lord is the one leading you, he will provide and sustain you, even in the moments when your fear and doubt is overwhelming, he calls us to "cast all [our] anxieties on him because he cares for us. His yoke is easy. His burden is light. (1 Peter 5:7; Matthew 11:30).
In the mean time, be faithful to discover and steward the gifts of the Spirit. You never know when the Lord will provide opportunities for you to use them. Be proactive and prepared. His glory and the ministry of the church depend on it.
Be encouraged!
-Sheena
